Through the years I have had the privilege of speaking into the lives of hundreds of people who have sadly come from or are currently trapped in abusive family situations. The more time that I spent with each of them the more evident it became to me that there is a common thread that runs through the center of each of their lives. Unfortunately the thread that I am speaking of is a terribly distorted view of what a Dad's role in the family is truly supposed to be. Whenever I would ask any of them about their Dads and what kind of relationship that they have with them, nine times out of ten, the reaction is the same. Their countenance usually drops, they hang their heads and in most cases, they take an obvious defensive posture against anything that has to do with him. I understand full well that moms in these same environments can be just as abusive as dads at times, but it is primarily the dads role that I would like to focus on for this particular message. Please note, when I talk about abusive Dads here I am not even referring to the scoundrels who physically and mentally abuse their wives or children. I am however addressing those who, due to the neglect of their own relationship with God and His Word, open their families up to all manner of perversion. Perversion in this case being a lifestyle that runs contrary to the wonderful fullness of a life in Christ Jesus. "Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded; But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof: I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh; When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you. Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me: For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD: They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof. Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices." Proverbs 1:24-31 When God designed the concept of family He did it knowing full well that in order for it to be successful the Dad must be the high priest or spiritual leader of his household. Anything less subjects the entire family and ultimately anyone that they come in contact with to a life that is cursed!

Please note, by making this statement concerning Dads that I am in no way being critical of single Moms who are raising their children in an environment where, for whatever reason, a Dad is not present. If you are a single Mom, please know that God stands more than ready to provide for you an extra measure of His grace to assist in raising your child or children in just as healthy a fashion as any home where a godly Dad is present, as long as you seek him diligently, uphold righteousness in your life and home and keep your family focused on performing the Gospel that Jesus preached. If you are an unmarried Mom raising boys, God also has a wonderful way of bringing strong male figures into their lives for the purpose of imparting the necessary masculine influence that they will need to bring a healthy balance to their character. Just be sure that the men that they are exposed to all love God as well! For example, even though I had a great Dad at home growing up, I probably received the majority of the strong male influence in my own life from fifteen years of wonderful football coaches, my bosses at work and the priceless example of my pastor of twenty six plus years. Take it from me, someone who knows firsthand, God's grace will always be sufficient for whatever you need! "And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:7-9

God's wonderful grace is also available to Moms who are living in family situations where a Dad is in the home but is spiritually and emotionally absent. Whatever your circumstances at home might be, it is God's design for the proper operation of the family that you seek Him with all of your heart and lead your family in the direction that God "tells" you to lead them in, despite what modern culture or satan himself may dictate to you. Jesus teaches us, " It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." Matthew 4:4 In other words, the principle ingredient for a successful life is not food only, the principle ingredient for a successful life is our actually being able to hear God's voice for ourselves and do whatever is necessary to perform it. This calls for a life that is totally committed to diligently seeking God wholeheartedly. In a nutshell, this is the way that God designed and desires for the family unit to continually operate. When Dads do not have the kind of close and personal relationship with God that allows them to hear His voice of direction for their families, they will all inevitably suffer a lifeless existence right from the start. Remember, death in the eyes of God is not when our heart stops and they bury us six feet under the ground, death in God's eyes is when we are separated from Him! Families who do not walk closely with God will suffer all manner of abuses and ultimately that blood will be on the Dad's head! It is these families that are being lead away from God and in the direction of secular humanism that are so inclined to equate success by the size of one's financial portfolio or standing in the market place or community. "Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith." Proverbs 15:16 Now, don't get me wrong, there is nothing at all wrong with having money and a favorable name just as long as they are both obtained in a godly fashion. "A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold." Proverbs 22:1 It is this same secular mind set in our society that so often packs up the kids and ships them off to a college to prepare to do something that God never intended for them to do in the first place, all because Dad did not invest the time and effort needed to find God's desired purpose for his children. God has a will and plan for each of us to fulfill while here on earth and the greatest thing that a Dad can ever do for his child is to help them learn how to find their way to the throne of God so that they can get His assignment for themselves. The purpose of a thing can only be found in the mind of the maker of the thing! That would be God alone!

When Dads do not seek God on the behalf of their children, pray over their lives and stand firmly as an example of Christ-likeness, abuse is inevitable! Please know, anything taken or done outside of God's will and original intent for a person or a thing always falls into the category of abuse. What is abuse? Abuse is simply abnormal use! Whenever we use something in a fashion that is contrary to the original intent and purpose of the one who created it, that is abnormal use or abuse. In order to prevent abuse from occurring in each of our lives Jesus lays out this answer for the prevention of all such things when He says, "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned. If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you." John 15:4-7 When a Dad does not live in Christ Jesus and assume his proper place as the high priest or spiritual leader of his family, not only is he disobeying God but he also unleashes on the members of his family unclean spirits of confusion, rejection, crippling insecurities and the list goes on. This goes for you single Moms as well!

Everything that I have written thus far has been done to make this most important point. When a child is in or has gone through an abusive family situation where the Dad does not assume his God given assignment it makes it extremely difficult to help that child understand the concept of God as being a loving, just and caring Father, no matter how old the child might be. Because they have been exposed for so long to a distorted version of God's original intent for what a father is supposed to be they find it in most cases tremendously difficult to relate to a father as being loving and compassionate. Whenever these kids, young or old, hear the word father mentioned, they immediately find themselves swept away in a wave of emotion, whether anger, bitterness, fear or a combination of each. All they can think of at that moment is getting as far away from a "father" as possible. This in turn also drives them away from God. The general mind-set of these kids is, "if all I get from my Dad is harsh criticism, mean looks and beatings then I can just imagine how much worse my punishment would be if I go to God, and frankly after all I have been through already, I don't think I can handle any more pain!" So, in their quest to find any since of fulfillment or self worth they tend to look for it as far away from God and His people as possible. And we all know where that can lead. Do you see why satan invests so much time and effort in tearing apart the sacred institution of the family? "And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand." Matthew 12:25 This is not at all the kind of fear that we are to have where our wonderful heavenly Father is concerned! Think about it for a moment Dad or Mom, what do you think it will be like standing before an almighty and awesome God on the day of judgment to find that you as a parent did more to drive your child away from God than you ever did to lead he or she to Him. All because you raised them to know your carnal nature and fleshly fears rather than the nature of the person of almighty God. If this cycle of carnality in your own life as a Dad is not broken, what you are doing is unleashing a curse on your children that will reek havoc on them, their children and their children's children for many generations to come. God makes it very plain when He says, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me" Exodus 20:3-5 Never forget, you are only your child's parent, God's their Father!

What does this scripture mean when it says, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge" Proverbs1:7 What is the fear of the Lord? Before we discuss what the fear of the Lord is, lets look at some definitions of the word fear. The Websters Dictionary defines fear, 1) anxiety caused by real or possible danger, pain, etc; fright 2) awe; reverence 3) apprehension; concern. The Vine's Expository Dictionary says the Hebrew word for fear is, yare' (pronounced yaw-ray') "to be afraid, stand in awe, fear." Used of a person in an exalted position, yare' connotes "standing in awe." This is not simple fear, but reverence, whereby an individual recognizes the power and position of the individual revered and renders him proper respect. In this sense, the word may imply submission to a proper ethical relationship to God; the angel of the Lord told Abraham: "I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me" Gen 28:12. The people who were delivered from Egypt saw God's great power, "feared the Lord, and believed the Lord, and His servant Moses" Exodus 14:31. There is more involved here than mere psychological fear. The people also showed proper "honor" ("reverence") for God and "stood in awe of" Him and of His servant, as their song demonstrates (Exodus 15). After experiencing the thunder, lightning flashes, sounds of the trumpet, and smoking mountain, they were "afraid" (Fleshly or human fear) and drew back; but Moses told them not to be afraid, "for God is come to prove you, and that His fear (the fear of the Lord) may be before your faces, that you sin not" Exodus 20:20.

Though this may sound at first like a contradiction it's not. When Moses said for them to not be afraid, he was telling them that they should not have "human or fleshly" fear. He was saying however that we should have the fear that comes from the Holy Spirit which is the fear of God. "Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling." Philippians 2:12 It is of the utmost importance that we understand that "the fear of the Lord" is a gift from God and cannot be conjured up or produced by the arm of flesh. It is reviled only to them who diligently seek Him.

As wonderful of a job as the above publications have done defining "fear", I however, would like to share with you the definition that I personally derived from an encounter that I had one morning twenty one years ago. As a result of the following testimony I have come to define the fear of the Lord as being, "a personal knowledge of the all consuming awesome power of almighty God!"

The encounter that I am talking about took place at 4:00 AM on September 13,1985. That morning I experienced something that up to that point in my life I had only heard or read about but had never witnessed for myself. It all started out as a dream that I had that was set in what appeared to be the ruins of an old stucco style village that would have been in Israel during the time that our Lord physically walked the earth. Appearing before me was a figure of a man whose face I never saw because he had his back to me the whole time and was wearing what seemed to be an oversized full length hooded robe. From the moment the dream began I heard what sounded like thousands upon thousands of Angels singing the song that Jack Hayford wrote entitled "Majesty."

As I heard this chorus being sung in consuming beauty, I saw the robed man kneel down at the base of one of the stucco structures next to me. As he knelt, I leaned over his shoulder and watched him take both of his hands and reach into the wall of the structure as if it were transparent and pull out a toy sized figure of a horse and on the horse was a figure of a rider. The horse was about ten inches in length and the rider on its back seemed to be a small invisible man made visible only by very loosely wrapped strips of cotton cloth that were wound around his body. The entire time that I was watching this take place, the consuming praises of God were being sung. All the while, the voices were growing greater in volume and power. As I continued looking over the shoulder of the man at the figure of the horse and its rider, the voices of what seemed to be legions upon legions of Angels began to suddenly increase in even greater volume and power.

This power and presence began rapidly increasing at this point, like a mighty rushing wind, not harsh to my ears but with an all consuming beauty, forcing me, as if I had no control over my actions, to look straight up over my head. When I did, I saw, faster than the human eye can follow, a cherubim descending straight down on me from above. Just as it seemed as if it was going to land right on top of me, it suddenly stopped and slapped the very tips of its wings together about three inches from my face. With the clash of its wings together, I awoke from the dream. I awoke to find my spirit hovering about two feet over my body that was lying flat on its back in the bed. Shortly after, I experienced my spirit as it slowly settled back down into my body. Once back in my body, I fought to get my hands over my face in hopes that it would somehow shield or protect me from seeing the cherubim or God forbid, actually seeing Jesus himself and being consumed like a Kleenex tissue in the middle of a raging bonfire. The terrifying fear was indescribable to say the very least!! By this time the power of God was so all consuming, that I could not so much as move or speak. The only thing that I could think to do was to try and praise God, but by this point I couldn't even move my hands away from my face, still in fear of what I might see. The fear was like nothing I had ever experienced, seen or even heard of before! It literally stripped me of my will! I was totally subject to whatever God wanted to do with me! It was also at that time that I learned, much better than I wanted to at that moment, just how frail our physical bodies are in the presence of God. For example, I was totally amazed that my heart didn't actually burst. It sure felt like it was going to.

After about an hour had passed the fear began to subside enough to where I started to regain the use of my faculties. I remember the first thing to come out of my mouth were pleas for Jesus to leave my room! Even the thought of seeing Him gripped my heart with a fear that can't be explained with mere words. As the fear of the Lord continued to subside, I began to notice that the horrifying, all consuming fear of God was now being replaced by an all consuming peace. It was also like nothing that I had ever experienced or even heard of before. There again, just as awesome and consuming as the fear was the peace was equally as indescribable. Within just a few short hours the Lord had taken me from one extreme to the other. The peace of God that settled in my room, (since there are no words that can ever come close to describing it) was "like" a dew or mist that fell on everything around me. As the all consuming peace of Lord began to subside I was, then and only then, able to sit up in my bed and begin worshipping Him. Believe me, I worshipped Him with every fiber of my being for, as best as I can recall, around three hours. I can vividly remember the muscles in my throat feeling as if they were on fire. My eyes had run out of tears after just the first thirty minutes or so and my voice was literally shot from singing praises. It was during that time that I realized that it is only because God allows us that we can even participate in the wonderful "privilege" of worshipping his Holy name! Another amazing thing that I learned while in His presence was that there are literally "no" words that can even begin to describe Him! As a matter of fact, even the names "King of Kings" and "Lords of Lords" didn't come close to describing who He is. As His peace continued to subside in my room, I was only then able to ask God what was meant by the dream and what the significance was of the horse and its rider that He had shown me early on.

He said, "The horse and its rider that I showed you represent satan and his hoards of unclean spirits. The reason I showed them to you at the size that I did was to relay the insignificance and powerlessness they have against you in Jesus name. Then He spoke something that left me speechless yet again. He asked me, "Remember how you were totally consumed with indescribable fear by what you thought was my presence?" "Do you remember how you were stripped of your will and terrified beyond measure by what you thought was Jesus himself standing in your room?" "Do you recall losing the complete use of your body to what you "just knew" were legions upon legions of Angels?" "Keith, the truth is, I never did come anywhere near you, My precious Son never even stepped so much as one foot into your room, and what you thought were legions upon legions of Angels, was only one Angel." Not only was I once again totally amazed but I also immediately remembered and understood fully the account in Matthew where he records what took place at the tomb just after Jesus rose from the dead. Matthew writes, "In the end of the sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulcher. And behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it. His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow. And for fear of him the keepers did shake, and became as dead men." Matthew 28:1-4 Then the Lord said to me, "So, if you were totally consumed by the presence of just one Angel, then how much greater things will I do with the legions that I have set at your side (and at the side of all who love me) to destroy the things that separate my children from me!" He then said, "All of the demons of hell ride a horse named 'Deception!" He concluded by saying, "Get your pen and paper and document exactly what you have both seen and heard." At that, I reached into my night-stand, grabbed my pen and notepad and began the difficult task of trying to put into words the things I had seen and heard in the spirit. And if I might add, this brief account of what took place does in no way begin to describe the awesomeness of what had taken place.

In that brief moment of time in 1985 I received an understanding of the fear of the Lord in a way that I had never known before. It was this new understanding that enabled me to adopt as my own personal definition of the fear of the Lord as being, "a personal knowledge of the all-consuming awesome power of almighty God!" Although the fear that I experienced that morning was terrifying beyond description, I found it to be a fear that never turned me against or drove me away from God but one that endeared me to Him in a profound way. It firmly set my affections on Him and established in my heart a love for Him the likes that until then I did not think was even possible. "In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge. The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death." Proverbs 14:26-27 Unlike the damaging "fleshly fear" that is experienced by a child who is exposed to an abusive parent, experiencing the awesome presence of God, hence the "fear of the Lord," establishes in one a reverence and awe that opens the doorway to understanding in a way that nothing else can. "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever." Psalms 111:10 "A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels: To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck." Proverbs 1:5-9 Where the fear of the Lord is absent in the life of a Christian, lifeless religion will prevail!

If you have never experienced anything like the things that I have shared with you in this testimony it in no way means that God does not love you or that He respects someone else more than He does you. "Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons." Acts 10:34 Although God is not a respecter of persons He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him! And like anything else in life, you are only going to get out of something what you put in to it. "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." Galatians 6:7 If you desire for the Lord to show Himself to you in a great way, then you must seek Him diligently! "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." Hebrews 11:6 If you noticed, Paul did not say that God is a rewarder of them who "merely" seek Him. He said that God is a rewarder of them that "diligently seek Him!" You must understand, this walk with God is an "all in or all out" endeavor! "I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." Revelation 3:15-16 As a matter of fact, God wants nothing more than to draw close to us but the only thing that hinders Him from doing so is our own lack of desire to first draw close to Him! "Draw nigh to God, and (then) he will draw nigh to you. James 4:8

The sole reason that I have shared this testimony and teaching with you is in hopes that it will create in you an unquenchable desire to seek God with your whole heart, mind, body and soul! If you have given yourself entirely to God and have yet to experience anything like I have shared in this letter, do not be discouraged! If God so decides to reveal Himself to you in that way, He will do it in His time! It is very important however to also know that God can show Himself to you in many different ways. To think that God only shows Himself to us in the way that I experienced in my earlier testimony is a terrible misunderstanding of how He does things. As a matter of fact, perhaps some of the greatest moves of God that I have personally experienced have been when He has showed Himself big in the small matters of my life. Whether it was getting a much needed check in the mail just as a bill came due, getting an encouraging phone call when I needed it most or hearing His soft and gentle whisper in my spirit, God has many ways that He can reveal Himself to each of us. Ways that will build our faith like nothing else can. I also happen to believe with all of my heart that He has an extra special reward that awaits those who diligently seek Him but for what ever reason have never experienced what most might refer to as major miracle or encounter with God. For example, do you know how "doubting Thomas" got his nickname? It happened shortly after Jesus had been resurrected. "But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the Lord. But he (Thomas) said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe." John 20:24-25 Jesus, knowing full well Thomas' every thought, had already prepared to help him quickly become "believing Thomas" while at the same time including a powerful statement concerning thoughts who have not experienced a personal encounter with Jesus but yet still believe on Him. "And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them: then came Jesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you. Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing. And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God. Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed." John 20:26-29

I pray that this message has helped you better understand the fear of the Lord and has filled you with the unquenchable desire to remove all distractions from your life and seek God with your "whole heart!" I also pray that from this day forward, you will make His presence your permanent residence and will give your life to leading those around you into a close and intimate relationship with our almighty God and King. The kind of intimate relationship that will enable them to regularly experience the wonderful fear of the Lord!